Old Post: Death of a Loyal Friend

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Here's an old post back in August 2006. It was the day my dog, Whitie, died from old age.

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August 21st, 2006
DEATH OF A LOYAL FRIEND
Posted by lunastark at 10:48 pm on August 21st, 2006.

My dog died early this morning.

I know I shouldn't be crying because it's probably her time.

But I can't stop the tears from falling.

I know death is only natural, and that I'm actually crying for myself since she's no longer around.

But I can't help but be lonely without her.

I know I'll get over it soon.

But I want to think and cry over my friend, even just for today.

I was in a hurry this morning. I planned to visit her tonight. Since I have so much schoolwork, I had less and less time to spend quality time with her.

I never expected that she would die today...

I never even got to say goodbye...

It just happened.

Now I'm feeling the same way I lost my grandfather, though the one I lost forever was my pet. She's like my old friend and baby at the same time.

I was so shocked that I wasn't able to say anything.

Whitie has always been there during those times when I needed her the most. She was the only one who listened to me patiently, who cuddled with me...who comforted me when I feel like crying....and I couldn't turn to anyone else....Whitie took care of me.

But...

I...I...wasn't there during her last breath, when she needed me the most, just because of some school requirement.

I've showed her I love her many times but I never got to show her how much I loved her at the crucial moment....not even one last hug.

I wasn't even there when she died.

It makes me want to hate myself even more. But there's no use doing that....I think she'd probably look me in the eye like she usually did, cuddle my leg and position herself so I could hug her.

People would probably say I could get a new one...it's true...but the memories of my special friend will always be here in my heart.

I'll get over this...I'm only crying because she's no longer with me...so I'm really just crying out of self-pity....so I know, it'll be okay...I wish I had a shoulder to cry on though, no one seems to be around...it's difficult to cry alone in the middle of a public internet cafe where the attendants are already staring at me...Louie doesn't seem to have his cellphone on...Jem's probably at school...Max is probably somewhere doing some projects ...Whitie's gone....WHITIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sniff*

This is my little memento-letter for one of the best friends I've ever had. I'm sorry tis was all I could do Whitie....I love you...my pet, my baby, my friend...Whitie, may you find happiness in doggy heaven. You don't know how much I appreciated those times when you helped me go through a lot of adversities. You were my most loyal friend who stayed by me for 11 years. I'll never forget that day when you were still a puppy and I started fussing over you. Then, my grandfather bought you for me because I wanted you so much...those times you were sick and got me so worried I stayed by you all night...those times I taught you to shake and to dance....that time we wrestled in the sale because you ran around my Lola's sala, when I hug you whenever I cried and you just kept on keeping me company....those good times.... I'M GOING TO MISS YOU!! Good dog, Whitie...good dog.

I just remembered I forgot to eat breakfast. But I'm not hungry....

I'll have her picture scanned one of these days so I could post it here...when I'm feeling happier....I need a friend right now...Where's everbody?

*bursts into tears*